under the sea

So I tried scuba diving recently.  The entire time I was under water that song from The Little Mermaid played in my head (Under the sea, life's so much better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!).  I think that was because looking up towards the sky from underwater was such a foreign experience, I had nothing to relate it to but the childhood movie I loved so (oh, so so much... I watched it multiple times a day... you know my sister and I know all of the words to every song in that movie...)

I did this Adventure Scuba thing, it cost around $60.  I was walking by the scuba place and a friend of mine said "Heather! You should try that!  You haven't been diving yet... here talk to this guy!"  Since I had been thinking about getting certified, it seemed like a good idea to do before I dish out $300-$400 to do a three day course... you know, lets see if I even like it!  I was unsure about the money (still trying to stay on budget) but I had to commit in the moment, and I already had a Bintang in my belly, so I signed up.

The day started at 9:30 am (which came early because I had a few more Bintang  the night before) when I met my instructor and one other person that was signed up for the adventure (I was happy they had such a small instructor to student ratio).  We spent about an hour learning about the basics of diving... what happens to air when it goes deeper and deeper into water, and what that means for the air in our bodies... the important thing to remember is to keep breathing... (they repeated that, and I had to sign something say that I would do that) evidently that is how you can make your lungs explode: changing depth dramatically while holding your breath.  We learned how to equalize (make it so your ears don't pop) by holding your nose and blowing gently, we learned how to get the water out of your goggles (hold the top and blow out your nose while looking up), and a few hand signals so we can communicate (ok, not good, how much air do you have, numbers to communicate how much air you have, up, down, left, right, different fish).  Then we got on our wetsuits....

Don't worry... not diving yet.  We had another hour of practice in the water to make sure we could use our new skills and get used to breathing in the water.  I think most places do that in a pool... and in retrospect it would have been much easier to learn if I didn't have the current close to shore ripping me around.

It took me three times going under to actually be able to stay under.  The first time, I put my mouth piece in, dunked my body, and tried to breath.  I took maybe four breaths before I jumped back out of the water (we were only waist deep).  I couldn't do it!  I couldn't breath!  I felt like I wasn't getting enough air in my lungs.  My instructor told me it's very normal to feel like that, but not to worry because you are getting enough air.  Okay, this is normal,  I can try again.  So, round two (and of course the other guy is doing just fine swimming around! show off) I put my mouth piece in, dunked my head, took... two breaths maybe... I jumped out again.  FUCK THIS.  (I was yelling in my head) How the hell do people do this??  I can't.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  It's gonna kill me.  That's fine, diving's not for me.  Uuuugh. But then I thought about all of the people I know who have been certified... I mean, it's not rocket science... if they can all do it, so can I. So, third times a charm right? I dunked myself back in the water... just breathe... all you have to do is breathe... breathing isn't hard... breath in.... breath out..... in...... out..... there... that was my problem, I wasn't breathing out of long enough.  You have to breath out slow and steady, get all of the air out of your lungs.  Problem solved.

Ok, now to swim... with these giant flippers on your feet, and the current ripping your body back and forth.  I kept bumping into the other guy... whatever.  It's a new skill... he'll forgive me... right?  So we all sat on the ocean floor and practiced our skills.  First, she demonstrated taking the mouth piece out, and putting in back in, blowing hard, and then breathing.  She pointed at the other guy to try... I coudn't concentrate.  All I could think about is how badly my eyes were burning.  why? Why did they burn so much?  Salt.  Darn.  Stupid salt water.  Burning my eyes.  Making me distracted.  Ok, my turn.  Mouth piece out, find it, put it in.  Put it in.  PUT IT IN!  I couldn't get the darn thing in my mouth!  It wasn't going in past my lips!  I had to use my other hand to help get the stupid thing in.  Blow, breath.  There.  Done.

Third skill: getting water out of your goggles.  She demonstrated, then pointed to me.  (NOOO!  It's supposed to be his turn first so I could watch it again!)  Putting water into your goggles is so counter intuitive!  I didn't want to!  uuugh.  Ok, I let water in the bottom up to my eyes (it burns!) pushed the top, blew out my nose (uuuugh what the hell!  Blowing out my nose... what if I accidentally breath in again!  Then there will be water in my nose!!), look up... waters gone.  Good.  Get outta my goggles.

We got out of the water, took our wetsuits off (felt like undressing in public!) I felt so dry... my knees were cut up from the coral, my eyes burned... breathing!  Oh, I could breath!  my nose and my mouth are attached!  I could breath in my nose, out my mouth!  in my mouth, out my nose!  Oh, a nose is a glorious thing... especially when its attached to your mouth, and you get to use either one... whenever you want, and you don't even have to think about it!!  She told us to come back in two hours, drink plenty of fluids, and stay out of the sun.  darn it.  I was planning on tanning.

I laid on a bed on the beach at my favorite restaurant.  All I could think about is breathing.  How wonderful breathing is, how good and fresh the air tastes, how awesome it is to have a nose.  Oh god!  I had to go back in there... I'm gonna die down there!  I'm gonna hold my breath and explode my lungs!  I'm gonna loose my mouth piece and take a big gulp of water!  I'm gonna die!  Breath.  Just breath.

I went back for the real  thing.  I had a couple of friends doing a fun dive at the same time, so they made me feel better.  They told me how amazing it is, and that I'm gonna love it.  They assured me that I'll do great and there is nothing to feel anxious about.  We got into this rickety old boat.  The ride started out ok, then it got a little bumpy... waves were crashing into the boat, the couple in the front got SOAKED.  I laughed... then get it in the back.  That's ok, I'm there to get wet anyway.  All of the sudden a cockroach flew up and landed on my friend!!  Hahaha... water was building in the boat, the pump wasn'r working so the water was just staying there and flushing out the cockroaches!! I watched him squirm and drown... poor bugger... that's gonna be me in a few minutes.

We got to go last, so I watched my friends suit up, sit on the side of the boat, and fall backwards.  UGH!  fall backwards in the water?? Really?  That's how I get in there?  Couldn't I just climb down slowly?  My turn, my instructor helped ensure that everything was strapped on right and told me to sit on the edge of the boat... on the edge... with my tank hanging over the back... weighing me down... (I get a flashback of the first time I crawled out onto the strut of an airplane... my parachute bumped on the door on the way out and I almost lost my balance... so much was going through my head...) oh god... what I am I doing?  What was I thinking?  She told me to fall off backwards (I feel like I was falling off the strut of the plane) SPLASH.  back to reality.  Swim to the front of the boat.

We followed her down the rope (we used it to ensure that we could go down slowly).  My head went under the water.  AIR!  AIR!  I NEED AIR! FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. AIR!  One hand went over the other... deeper... AIR! AIR!  YOUR NOT GETTING ENOUGH AIR!!!  one hand over the other.... deeper... NO!!  FUCK IT! YOUR NOT A DIVER!! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET HER ATTENTION!  NO! NO! NO!  one hand over the other... deeper.... breath... just breath... in... out... you can't chicken out now... BUT BREATHING IS WHAT I CAN'T DO PROPERLY!  BREATHING IS WHAT'S FREAKING ME OUT!  HOW CAN I CALM DOWN IF I CAN'T DO THE ONE THING THAT IS IMPERATIVE FOR MY SURVIVAL???  in... out.... longer... longer... there. in.... out... longer.... in... out.... ok.  down, down, down. 

Holy fuck I was under water. (cue The Little Mermaid Song)

Honestly the rest is more of a blur... getting down there was the hard part... but once I was down there, I was so overwhelmed... I was under water.  There a fish.  A fucking fish.  This was his environment... Wow... a reef... it was so big... but don't touch it (big rule in diving... touch nothing) ... my body wasn't listening to me, my legs weren't going where I thought they should... I felt like a child learning to walk, learning to survive in my surroundings... it was all so foreign... so scary... so exciting.... up up up... shit.  how do I get down again?  down down down... shit too much... I hit bottom... up up up... too much again!  down down down.  The hardest part was not being able to talk... what was I doing wrong?  Why couldn't I stay at the same level? Why did I keep going up and down?  Eventually she motioned that I stop trying to correct, she held onto me and dragged me along.  hahahahhahahha.  The most frustrating thing was that I wanted to try again... I thought I knew why it wasn't working right, but I couldn't ask her.  I just had to be pulled along like a dog.  Oh well, I decided to enjoy the scenery.  A sea turtle!!! (I saw two)

After 45 minutes of sensory overload, we surfaced.  AIR!!  OH AIR, I LOVE AIR!  BREATHING!!   We floated... and waited.... and waited...  and waited... I could see the look in my instructors eyes (where the fuck is the boat?)  We drifted over to a nearby boat that was anchored and held on... my friends surfaced with their instructor... wheres the boat? we wait..... and wait.... I had to pee.  darn.... gotta pee gotta pee.... we wait.    I laughed with my instructor as I told my friends how horrible I was at maintaining my level... I am NOT a natural diver.... The conversation stopped as we all got impatient.  gotta pee.  The instructor  whistled.  We waited... and waited... felt  like forever.  She said that this never happens.  Another group had drifted toward shore and was now on the beach of a nearby island.  She shook her head, and said that the boat wont be able to get them now... the water is too choppy to get near shore... we waited... this isn't funny anymore... still gotta pee.... getting sea sick...

I don't really know how long it took... but it felt like an hour (probably way less) before the boat finally appeared, we took our tanks off (in the water which was really hard) and climbed on board.  My friend complained that the reef wasn't that nice, and the current was really strong... he told me not to judge the experience by this dive, usually it's a lot better.

Oh, I'm gonna do it again.  I have to.  Gotta figure out how to stay at the same level... gotta be able to swim on my own!  Gotta learn to breath.... I'll try again in Thailand when I have more time... but I won't be telling them that I have done it before... my lack of skills is embarrassing!!  But for now... breathing... it's so amazing... I love breathing... in through my nose... out through my mouth... don't even have to think about it... just breath.