the art of walking

You would think that something as simple as walking would be easy no matter where in the world you are... right?  Ok, maybe my ethnocentrism made it completely impossible for me to even have the slightest idea of what I was getting myself into.... but, I digress.  Walking.

Some of the streets in Kuta are the width of a car.  One car.  That’s it.  Most notably, Poppies Lane 1, the street that I happen to be staying on (and as a result walking on the most) is one such as that.  This one lane road is used for both directions of traffic (as all of them seem to be.. even when they are not supposed to be).  So, you get the pleasure of watching the spectacle of two cars meeting each other... I suppose it’s an exercise in dominance, the weaker vehicle being the one who gets to back up and find a place to pull off (sometimes they even have to fold in the side mirrors in).  This seems confusing enough, but wait... there is more.

Motor bikes and scooters EVERYWHERE!!  They seem to think that they are half vehicle and half pedestrian, and no rules whatsoever apply to them.  As a pedestrian you have to constantly be on the watch for these rockets of peril.  They drive on the wrong side, pass wherever they can, never look before going, drive on the sidewalk, fail to stop for anything, and most shocking as all... NO HELMETS.  Really, there will be a family of four, baby in the front... not one helmet.  And if one happens to be wearing a helmet, it’s not done up!

 So... back to me walking.  When a car comes you have to stand up against the wall and pray that your toes don’t get run over!   The motorbikes go by so fast, and they basically touch you as they go by... So, always be aware of what’s going on... and walk single file down the road...  Be prepared to duck into any store you see (then of course you are bombarded by “I give you good price!” “another dress?” “come, come look!”.. but I’ll leave the art of shopping for another time).  If there happens to be a sidewalk, you may think you are safe, but sadly, you are mistaken.  The motorbikes are there too, like they belong or something.

As if constantly being on the lookout for death by motorbike and watching your toes from the impossibly close mini busses and taxis isn’t enough.... while engaging in this dance, you must also watch your feet.  No sidewalk or road is flat.  There are loose stones, holes (that look as if they go down forever), unexpected dips, missing chunks... a sprained ankle waiting to happen!

Oh, and additionally, there are men every few feet asking “transport? transport?” (At first we thought they were saying “passport” ... that was confusing!)  Trust me... you don’t want the transport... they are motorcycle taxis, and you couldn’t pay me enough rupiah to get on one of those!

In sum,  don’t look down too much, or you’ll get hit by a motorbike, don’t look forward too much, or you’ll trip, be aware of when a car comes up behind you, and make sure you shoulder check before changing any direction.  And politely decline the incessant “help” of the Balinese store owners and motorbike taxis.

Driving is a whole other discussion ... lets just say that when you are inside one of these vehicles that seem to be able to function without any discernible rules, the best course of action is to look directly out the side window and avoid watching the front as much as possible!